La Bibliotecaria e La bioagricoltore

Nicolas Augustin

2010-02-12T21:24:00.000-08:00

was born on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, December 12, 2009!

He was a big beautiful boy at 8 lbs. 11 oz.

Today, at 2 months old, he weighs 12 lbs. and 7.5 oz

Being called MAMA by 4 small people is crazy, but wonderful.

Autumn around the corner

2009-09-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

Well, we are off to a good start with school this year. T loves his new Montessori school, and we are very happy with it as well. As one of the oldest kids at the new school, he enjoys being a leader. I am happy that he will be able to have the full Montessori education though 8th grade. It is like the greatest gift! Such a lovely freedom within a structure suits him well. Especially since he has gone from school to homeschool back to school. It is good to find a fit for him where he can read all day if he's like, but can also do the lovely works. The physical education plans established by Dr. Montessori are also quite impressive--they focus on synthesizing the mind and body so that the child can develop deliberate motion/control over the body. It is pretty impressive, and I'd like to read more about it.

I've my job cut out helping develop the urban gardening part of the school, and look forward to teaching some vermiculture to the kids. Kids and worms are a winning combo. T is also excited for the bunnies that will arrive soon, too.

V will get to go to the school next year, and J is hanging out with me, gardening and baking and going to the library (which is her favorite place) as well as a gymnastics class through parks and rec.

We have all our fall crops planted-- the brussel sprouts look good, even though they had those little nasty bugs on them. I sprayed them off and will put some garlic tonic on the leaves tomorrow. The purple cabage whihc I thought I killed is also doing well, and we have new rows of radishes and beets...

And we are still picking tomatoes, peppers, corn, pumpkins (K made the absolute best pumpkin pie with one of V's pumpkins last week), tons of spearmint, and some little carrots... K dug up the last of our potatoes today, too--which looks so lovely and red. I don't know if the celleric root will grow fast enough before it gets too cold, but next year I am going to grow tons of it. It tastes so good in soup and can be used as cellery, but seems to last longer. But is costs so much at the store!

Our kefir water is going... going too well. I had to put the little grains in the freezer because I felt like I had two extra pets between the kefir grains and the sourdough--constantly feed and tending the little growing things... it was too much. Plus I am surprised how alcoholic some of the kefir water I've made has smelled! Being pregnant, I'm nervous about throwing it back.

So, I can't believe I will be a mom of 4 in a few short weeks! Some days I panic, some days I am calm and it all makes sense. But 94 days seems like nothing.

Especially with Halloween, All Saints Day, Martinmas (which we are planning a lovely lantern walk and cider/pumpkin bread party for), Thanksgiving and then a new baby! Then Christmas!

I love this time of the year, and feel so strange because I want it all to come, but I don't want to miss it by it going by too fast... Such a strange reality time is, that is but hardly is at all.

I found the USB cable and can upload some pictures soon!

Cure of Ars

2009-08-05T16:53:00.000-07:00

“Oh, how beautiful will be the day of Resurrection! Those beautiful souls will be seen coming from heaven like glorious suns, to unite themselves to the bodies they animated on earth. The more those bodies have been mortified, the more they will shine like diamonds.” ~ St. John Vianney, Cure d'Ars

I don't know if I can get an Oregon Driver's License ...

2009-07-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

and I think it is part of something more then not wanting to go to the DMV. I've never really had a problem with the DMV; you just go and wait and stuff, and then you get what you need. But I typically don't really harbor urges of overly importance... so maybe that is why the DMV never bother me.

And the post office--people always complain about the postal service in the us. try living in Italy for awhile; you'll love the US postal service after that...

But anyways, I can't get a drivers license here because I don't want to give up my California license. I mean, I like living here in Oregon, but I love California. She is my motherland.

I've been so homesick for things like the cherry corn scones from the Cheese Board... and my taco truck in the Fruitvale. At least there are lots of food trucks here in Portland, with excellent food.

And also, having this baby outside of California is weird.

If it ever cools off below 80 degrees in this house, I'll make these cherry corn scones, since we have pounds and pounds of cherries to eat from the buying club. Farm fresh Organic cherries!

We also went berry picking on Saturday, and the tayberry jam Mr. bibliotecario made is deliscious, so I need to make some bread for that, too. Any excuse for tayberry jam.

Oh, and here is the Cheese Board collected works: YUM!

Summer is here!

2009-06-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

So it is lovely to have arrived at the first day of summer. Everything in the garden looks lovely, the sunflowers are all taller then me. I feel like we were so luck to have such luck with starting them inside, and the transplanting went well... We dug up our first potatoes today and they are the best thing I have ever eaten. It is truly a blessing to get such good yields on the high caloric foods.

It is also Fathers' day... I guess I am lucky that the father of my children, my dear husband, loves to cook. So he barbecued kefta kabobs, barbecued eggplant for babaganoush (sp?), and then we found a great recipe for breads cooked on the grill... flatish breads like naan. Recipe here.

Of course I have beautiful pictures of all of these things, trapped in my camera... senza USB cable. Which is part of my second big project... decluttering. Blah. I hate it. But I am determined to make five (soon to be six) people living in a tiny house comfortable. So back to work I go... But I have some interesting photos from this venture as well... as for now, I will leave it to the imagination of you, dear reader.

Christos Anesti! Alithos Anesti!

2009-04-12T21:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter! Christ is Risen! Lent has been wonderful, and Easter is here! YEAH! We've had a great day of feasting and reveling in our new being--Christ rising in us.

And we've had a surprise... number 4! We are having another child, the estimated due date is around the 8th of December (the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of Mary, the Theotokos!)

Wow, like we don't have enough going on in December with our Wedding Anniversary, two birthdays, Advent and the birth of Christ.

I'm freaked out, totally surprised, but very excited, as well.
The freakish part is that I was planning on taking a job for a few months, like a fulltime office job (I know, scary, eh?) to pay down some bills from moving and such...

I guess this is God's not so subtle way of saying NO.

Never a dull moment... eh?

2009-02-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

This was the best apartment ever. We lived there until we discovered that Josephine was on her way. It has the most beautiful park outside, and it was close to everything: Peet's coffee and Park street (toy safari-- the greatest toy store in the world), and Trader Joe's was in the other direction.

We had the best neighbors, too. Our down stairs neighbors were musicians, and they would play the loveliest cello ever, and often she played with a trio. And you know how sound is amplified when it passs through walls? It was glorious, to look out the great bay windows during The Beautiful time, and the cello would seep up, rising through the floor.

And we had kids in the building, downstairs and next door--so we had building friends for the kids.

When the family that owned the building put it up for sale we mourned, and ached a bit, because we always stated that when they sold it someday we would buy it, because it was so perfect and lovely. Except it was too small; barely a 2 bedroom with the second bedroom basically fitting a bed for the boys and a dresser.

I miss Alameda now, and the whole beautiful bay. And the air, the way the sea would marry the air and make me want to run down to the sand on the bay, and sink my teeth into the rocks, crying out like the sea birds.

But I miss that apartment the most. It was the most 'home' of anyplace I've lived since, well, since my parent's home, I guess.

the mini farm

2009-02-12T20:29:00.000-08:00

So here is a tale. A tale of desires, and plans, and hopes and dreams.

I'd like to grow something really tasty and vend it at the farmers' market. Originally we wanted to lease an acre and start a CSA, but that seemed a bit ambitious. But I can grow anything, and I could grow enough of a product (I must keep the exact product to myself, for now... this is a part of my business sense, which is highly backwards and superstitious. Please forgive me) in my front and backyard.

Food not lawns.

But there reality sets in: I need to incorporate, so that cost fifty bucks, then there is insurance, business license, a table and a canopy. All of this costs money. I have a loose confederation of ladies who want to band together and collectively get one spot at the FM (I think we would all fit) and we could create another structure to act as a single entity for the purposes of marketing, but keep our own books, sell our stuff; and enjoy each others' company.

If there was a day when someone couldn't make it, chances are another one of us can--so we won't miss out...

And the whole idea is that is will have zero carbon footprint, even negative footprint. The only time we would impact anything is driving the few miles to the market, or I thought eventually when the baby is big enough to pedal, we can bike there, puling the product in a trailer. I guess I could deliver the goods (if we do go CSA style, I think insurance is not required then, so the overhead is less) via bicycle. I think I can still take food stamps for payment that way, too. Because that is another goal, to take food stamps... and there is a market nearby that might buy the product. But the maximum returns are from the farmers' market me thinks... but then there is less overhead. That is when the teeter totter starts going back and forth in my mind...

But I need some money to start this up. And I'm not sure about how to get the money. And I don't know how to ask people for money. I have a business plan... but it just seems awkward to say "hi can I borrow some money ?"

Because who is going to give it to me?

And for some reason this makes me think of Dickens... who is such a weird author in my opionion when we consider all of English literature (not just British, but all in the English language). He is almost too simplistic in his plots and charactersrs... like a Victorian mother goose or brothers Grimm. But then there are these gems in there. ike the contrast between scrooge on and tom cratchet (sp?). Scrooge is such a good, miserly Calvanist. According to the time, he would be predestined for heaven, because being bloody rich was one way to find out if you were moral or not.

But then there is Lady Poverty... and Cratchet... so there is this religious tension. Except if the Calvanists were kicked out of Britian? I don't recall... I'll have to go look that one up.

this is ground control to major tom...

2009-02-11T23:08:00.000-08:00

Perhaps that is the wrong message, I haven't been strung out and floating in space. We moved to Portland, OR and are here. We have three chickens, baby chicks now, soon to be big hens. The kids love the hens....

We are now part of Holy Rosary Parish--a great place. The kids are so big. T is almost 8, and V will be 5 in two weeks. J had a lovely 2nd birthday right after Christmas. And she is totally out of diapers now. Yeah cloth! So I (kind of) sadly (kind of joyously) pack all her little diapers and woolies away. I guess I'll hold onto them for a bit here, for maybe #4?

I'm getting ready for Lent. I really need Lent this year--after moving and all the upheaveal,, I want to get refocused (sp?). Because we aren't eating dairy except for the occasional sheep cheese, I'm cutting out olive oil and wine as well. I'm basically following the Eastern Orthodox Great Lenten Fast--I don't think I can fast for a complete 3 days in a row because J is still occasionally nursing (for comfort). I hope to go to Mass at least 2 times per week. Daily would be great, but with 2 little ones and limited funds, that might not work.

Which brings me to my big part--Lady Poverty. lovely Lady Poverty. We are considered economically poor in this country. We live below the 200 per cent above the povery line ( I won't say exactly where, but it is down there ;) ). And I have mixed feelings about telling people this. I feel like it is show what shameful--but then don't the poor have a special place in the Heart of Jesus? Isn't poverty something to strive for?

So why do I feel so weird about it, in this land of the protestant work ethic and calvanistic predestination anxiety? When did capitalism invade my conscious and begin to inform my ethics?

I;d like to really give away what we don't need/use and be content with the bare minimum if stuff. So I'm perging the things. We gave away a lot of stuff before moving, but we are kind of nostalgic pack rats, and well--you know writers... it is hard to pry stuff out of their hands.

So that will be a task. To embrace Lady Poverty, and reconnect with Him.

So I plan to spend little time on line. I'm going to refocus on my place here, and live poor.

sorry this is kind of wacky and disjointed, but I just need to get it all out before my bread is done baking in the oven.

Yeah! Lent.

2008-07-27T22:36:00.001-07:00

"A man of conscience, is one who never acquires tolerance, well- being, success, public standing, and approval on the part of prevailing opinion, at the expense of truth." Pope Benedict XVI

the politics of babies...

2008-07-24T16:14:00.000-07:00

So, I'm trying to type this out as my 19 month-old is dumping the few remaining clothes we have left here (everything else is packed up to move) and jumping on me, so I might miss a key.

But I'm thinking about the election for President of the Stati Uniti, and how I would like to vote for Obama. I'd really like to vote for him, because he inspires this crazy hope in people, and it feels like we need that now. I like a lot of his policies.

But he seems to have unwavering support for that amorphous choice. After a great deal of thinking and praying, I can't vote for him, but I can't vote against him, either. And I know that conservative president don't always make conservative Court appointments (hello Nixon!), and that even if Roe was overturned, abortion would be legal in the states (such as California) that are liberal.

Nothing will change unless we change people's minds.

The only really pro-life thing I do is try to be a good mama, and make parenthood look as good as possible. So I don't complain about the normal stuff that happens when little ones are around. I just offer it up.

But that doesn't seem to be enough.

So I though of this idea, that is basically making a shrine and inside are these really beautiful icons of aborted babies (they are little saints, right?)... where it isn't put in people's faces unles they enter the shrine. But we can "see through this window into Heaven" and see these babies, and pray for them, just be with them... It seems like a start.

Who will help me with this project?

Engineering books for homeschool

2008-07-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

Engineering the City
The Art of Construction
Zaccaro's books from ChallengeMath.com
the Make it Work science series (I've linked only one)
Engineering for Every Kid

Tarquin Books in Britain

2008-07-22T22:27:00.001-07:00

"How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers." ~Bl. Teresa of Calcutta

On the Media

2008-07-20T14:57:00.001-07:00

Whenever I have a chance to listen to this show, I am constantly awed. If you ever doubt the value of public media, this show is evidence that public radio is ... well, going to go in-depth and actually inform you of something.

Do you wonder why oil is so expensive? The typical line is supply blah blah and demand. Well, have a listen here to Supply and Command and you may actually begin to grasp what is going on:

http://www.onthemedia.org/

Policy does matter...

2008-07-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

it effects all of our lives. Listen to this.

mathematics.

2008-07-01T22:19:00.000-07:00

Living Math.
Mathematical Gnomes and Gnumbers.

A (bath)Room with a View.

2008-06-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

A happy houseplant, and woolies drying in the one bathroom of our house.

Ciné.

2008-05-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

I was very pleased to hear that the work of G. Melies, the inspiration for The Invention of Hugo Cabret is now released on DVD. I was thinking about this and mused that surealism, dream-like realities, and more primary (native?) to film then the realism of Passolini, or the modern usage of film. Where somehow the realism seems to have less in common with a human reality. Reality v. appearance.

And then I was thinking about all the ways in which technology changes art--the camera making realism in painting obsolete, and paint in tubes making expressionism possible. One could easily paint outside. And use a lot of paint.

a love song

2008-04-15T20:09:00.000-07:00

A Love Song
by William Carlos Williams

What have I to say to you
When we shall meet?
Yet—
I lie here thinking of you.

The stain of love
Is upon the world.
Yellow, yellow, yellow,
It eats into the leaves,
Smears with saffron
The horned branches that lean
Heavily
Against a smooth purple sky.

There is no light—
Only a honey-thick stain
That drips from leaf to leaf
And limb to limb
Spoiling the colours
Of the whole world.

I am alone.
The weight of love
Has buoyed me up
Till my head
Knocks against the sky.

See me!
My hair is dripping with nectar—
Starlings carry it
On their black wings.
See, at last
My arms and my hands
Are lying idle.

How can I tell
If I shall ever love you again
As I do now?

Elephants painting.

2008-03-31T14:06:00.000-07:00

My kids really enjoyed watching this--there are some cuts so it is difficult to know if there is some coaching from the others species present, or not. But it is really cool.

For more information about elephants painting, please click here.

Christ is Risen!

2008-03-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

He is Truly Risen!

Via Crucis

2008-03-21T14:17:00.000-07:00

from the work of Inos Biffi and Franco Vignazia, by Eerdmans press.

pray for us, now ...

2008-03-19T20:38:00.001-07:00

Have a Blessed, Mysterious, and Holy week!

It's Always Now

2008-02-14T13:43:00.001-08:00

Michael Pollan on KQED's Forum

2008-02-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

I really enjoy this show--and today's show was quite good. Hear the pod cast here.

Lent is from the German for Spring, Lentz.

2008-02-04T08:59:00.000-08:00

So I haven't yet finished my eggnog and here Ash Wednesday is upon us. I really love the season of Lent, and Easter. It rivals my love for the Christmas season (I'm a Christmas baby and so have always loved this season, but as an adult Lent and Easter become really what life is all about.)

I will probably not be blogging much through Lent unless it relates directly to something truly significant, i.e. living as a Catholic.

Saint Joseph, pray for us!

2008-02-03T18:55:00.001-08:00

my baby entered the One, Holy and Apostolic Church today.

Awhile ago I was thinking...

2008-02-01T19:10:00.001-08:00

A picture from 2002. I think it was September. I am surveying all of Oakland, CA.

but made their bodies carrion

2008-01-21T23:37:00.000-08:00

Why do I always end up going back to the beginning and find myself with the Greeks? Again, here with home school for oldest son (6.5 years-old) I find us talking/reading/ thinking about the Greeks.

The older I get, the closer Lent seems to creep to Christmas--anyone else with me here on this one?

I need to write a letter to my Godfather. I want to include a picture of my baby girl's Baptism. My Godfather is now a Cistercian Monk.

I made crackers today. It rained, a lot.

The Invention of Hugo Cabret, by Brian Selznick

2008-01-17T16:32:00.000-08:00

Picture a room full of librarians, cheering wildly. That is what this book does to people.
I couldn't wait any longer--I had to go rush out and purchase this book today.

There are so many really lovely and enjoyable books to read these days. Books that even ten years ago would have been very expensive to purchase. At 533 pages, this book is a feast for the eyes and the soul. It is a fine picture book.

But read it. It is an important book. It is a lovely book. So switch off this computer and open the book.

My heroes have always been cowboys.

2008-01-14T22:32:00.000-08:00

So where the heck have I been these low many days?

I got a bit lost in the Jazz, Folk and country section of ameaba records in Berkeley. I'll have to scan some of the covers of the records I found. Amazing, and only a dollar.

Then, Oldest son had his last days of Parish school before we pulled him out and have been enjoying 'home schoolin.' Although, we don't really do that many more different things--we just hang out, read books, watch films and drink tea. That's right--films, not movies.

Youngest son loves his Spanish/English Montessori school.

The baby loves being a toddler.

We love her.

Mr. Bibliotecaria might be getting a job in Portland, OR (watch out!)

I begin librarian school this month.

what is this thing?

2007-12-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

My husband brought this home from the St. Vincent de Paul. What is it? You place a candle in it and then it magnifies and focuses the light... but for what purpose?

huh?

my 3.5 year-old son.

2007-11-29T21:22:00.001-08:00

declared tonight, while rolling around on the floor, "I am a portion. I am a portion of the Sun."

Dye.

2007-11-28T23:19:00.000-08:00

Here is a really neat site about hand dyeing cloth. Paul Burch.

Professor Alfredo DiMarino is dead.

2007-11-20T09:37:00.000-08:00

And I am in a state of shock, receiving this news now. He was a wonderful man. Remember his Shakespeare class? It was a hoot. And the Modern European novel? Good times. I was trying to contact him to let him know that I was going to librarian school (he was an awesome librarian at Johns Hopkins University in Bologna). I owe a lot to him, and think of our conversations often. I only took three of his classes in one year--one of which I was the only student. I feel very fortunate to have spent this time with him.

He had had heart problems for some time, and was in hospital when things suddenly got worse and he passed away, without knowing what was happening.

If any of you are reading this, send me any memories of DiMarino you might have.

Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine:

et lux perpetua luceat eis.

Heh.

2007-11-19T11:05:00.000-08:00

What I would do with a sewing machine. Heh.

Baby Paints.

2007-11-15T10:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, youngest son asked if the baby was wan artist. We discussed what he does to be an artist--make stuff. Today, with three year-old assurance he proclaimed his baby sister an artist. Here she paints.
Crayola makes a really nice finger paint that is totally nontoxic and washes off of everything.

Broccoli bigger then my babe's head.

2007-11-11T22:26:00.000-08:00

No joke. This large and beautiful organic broccoli was grown by Mr. Bibliotecaria at his organic garden at school. There is a tiny portion of the square city-block dedicated to organic farming. The rest is for growing really scary frankenfoods (and the really weird ones they don't even let out of the greenhouses. I've walked by an watch grad students making little marks on their papers and then covering the corn husks with paper bags. I don't know what was going on there. But if you grow buckwheat stalks next to your broccoli, the aphids will attack the old buckwheat and leave the broccoli alone.

We have five more of these--all about this large--so dinner tomorrow will have broccoli soup and some roasted broccoli. I love soup.

We also got our worm bin stocked up with wormy-wormys. The boys were very excited to see the little critters squirming and ... well, squirming about. We picked them up and a few varieties of strawberries to keep inside for a bit at the Spiral Gardens. I saw strawberries in these pots with their runners hanging down as decorative (well, and yes, functional) plants at another garden in Berkeley.

Our carnivorous pitcher plants came out of the fridge, but still haven't started to sprout yet. I hope they do, because they're really quite lovely.

This was a comment

2007-11-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

I made on anther blog. But I liked it so much I thought I would share it with you:

Halloween is not celebrating witches and demons (at least that's not how we do it here). It is All Hallows Eve-it is the eve of All Saints Day. I think that people focus on death because dying is how we become saints. You can't be a saint unless you die.

And that is scary--to everyone. So we dress up in death, and focus on spooky things (the changing of season seasons and the shortening of the day helps, too).

There is nothing demonic about death. In fact, Satan wants you to never think about death. But it is a fact that most folks who because saints, thought about their end a lot. Monks dig graves right outisde their from doors to remind themselves of this end. Satan would be happy if you never considered death--because then you would never really repent anything.

So we dress up and laugh, yes laugh at death--because it is terrifying. We laugh at death and say, "Christ has defeated you, Evil Scary Stuff, so we need not fear you. We cannot escape death, but we don't have to be afraid of it. Would you like a snikers?"

All Hallows Eve allows us to face our fear of the dark--and find out where it is sweet.

All Hallows Eve

2007-10-31T23:03:00.000-07:00

Plastic. It's what's for dinner.

2007-10-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

So, who is up for a journey to the toxic, plastic-nest in the Pacific?

Prayer request.

2007-10-18T12:11:00.001-07:00

Please pray for this family.

My Dearest Husband.

2007-10-15T20:38:00.000-07:00

Baked this apple pie for breakfast. More pictures of the beautiful apples are included, as well.

Yes, Mr. Bibliotecaria made the crust.

Autumn 2007

2007-10-14T19:40:00.000-07:00

We picked a bushel of Rome Beauties and Golden Delicious. We went here and heard some trad music beautifully shared. We hiked. I have a bonnet now. All in the last two days.

Note to self.

2007-10-04T11:25:00.000-07:00

I have a huge, gregarious pile of work to scan and publish. A small child whose name Saint was celebrated on September 27 shoved part of a deck of cards in the disk drive. I have it on the calendar to take this thing in and have the cards removed, so I can back up the images on the disks, and get this machine cleaned up a bit. Sometimes I get a little wild with image files, and well, they have to fit somewhere.

So don't forget to take it in.

Then there will be a lot of nice stuff in time for autumn light.

Go Vegan Pancakes! and we have a garden!

2007-09-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

In the news today, we have successfully created an edible vegan pancake. We call them Bearcakes, after baby bibliotecaria. Rice milk instead of cow, and then a flaxseed egg substitute:

1tbsp flax seed substitute (simply mix 2 1/2oz of ground flax seeds into 8fl oz water. Bring to a boil and simmer for a few minutes. Cool, then place in a refrigerator).

And then 1/4 to 1/2 of a banana. Then just follow the betty crocker recipe (or your favorite pancake recipe) except with whole wheat or whole grain.... it is delicious, especially covered in Mr. Bibliotecaria's berry sauce.

In other news: WE HAVE A GARDEN! We now have a spot at the local community garden. Mr. Bibliotecaria is volunteering there, and we have one bed, plus this funky spot with a bicycle wheel bean pole... We're planning on putting garlic and shallots in the ground this week, and then planting some chard, beets and lettuce--as well as a ground covering that we can then turn under for compost--fava beans, buckwheat or vetch. But we need to does some measuring for nutrients to see if we have to add anything (nitrogen, etc.) and then make our selection.

It is really a lovely community garden, with lots of children and a cool bench/meeting area with elephants and stuff. There are several fruit trees, and a worm man.

It would be nice to be able to grow stuff at our home, but this is a nice bike ride from our place with the added bonus of neighbors.

orange revolution

2007-09-26T23:49:00.001-07:00

Although I do not vote for one side or the other in the politics, I cannot help but be in touch with current events. I feel a responsibility as a citizen of the world to try to understand what is happening. Most of the time I just feel this ache in my heart.
The attempted Orange Revolution in Burma reminds me of something Thomas Merton wrote in his journal, "Christ is where men are beaten and starved."

So I sit here, and watch these events unfold across the world as a stage, and I am usually left disheartened or muttering. I try to teach my children how to be have, and to be a moral agent in the world, only to turn on the radio ad hear about all of these powerful adults across cultures and timezones behaving like... selfish, evil, petty-- what is the word? I almost wrote animals, but that doesn't quite cast the image properly.

So although I listen to the events of the world, and try to make sense of them, I do not know where to begin to write about them. It mostly makes me sad.
And so I will end with a quote by Léon Bloy, hugely admired soul:

Man has places in his heart which do not yet exist, and into them he enters suffering in order that they may have existence.

flowers for mama

2007-09-25T19:27:00.001-07:00

Boys shirtless in Seattle

2007-09-23T22:08:00.001-07:00

Weed, Portland, Seattle, Portland, Weed

2007-09-23T21:28:00.000-07:00

Our adventure to Portland and Seattle to see the lovely Ms. Goodwin wed Mr. Mike and become Mrs. and Mr. was grand. It was good to connect with all the peeps and figure out how to move closer to y'all.

But I just can't get the library in Seattle out of my mind. Wow.

This library has an entire theater just for children's stuff. And the books! The dood who was in ob designing the San Francisco public library though that books, physical books, would be replaced by digital media.

But libraries are even today more important because of they are full of books--one can browse and ready freely (without a credit card or social security number), in the face of all the other avenues of media (all of this digital stuff). Because no matter what, nothing will ever be as cool as a lovely book in the lap.

So I've just been meditating on the importance of free information, and youth services that have lots of books and good, natural lighting. I've also been reading this work, which makes me paranoid and also want to strive to protect culture even more.

Viva Sheepy-Sheepy

2007-09-21T21:52:00.001-07:00

Portland or Placerville?

2007-09-07T20:10:00.000-07:00

Both Mr. Bibliotecaria and I are native Californians. But we would, some day, like to own a home. I want to put a beautiful little statue of St. Joseph in my front yard, and on the other side have one of Mary. Both would have special flowers planted for each one. And then Saint Fiacre (patron of simple living) will have a place, too.

Our five year plan has as its end owning a home with land. And we are certainly more interested in the land--we are totally open to a yurt, or other dwelling.

We are currently interested in Placerville (Gold Country, CA--Sierra Foothills) or Portland, OR. Now all you Portland, OR folk--again, it is difficult choice for us to abandon the Mother Land... But we do love Portland. We could maintain our ever-hip urban lifestyle while growing things in our much dreamed of backyard.

But for now, we'll sit tight and enjoy the view.

Salvatore Quasimodo

2007-09-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

ED E’ SUBITO SERA

Ognuno sta solo sul cuor della terra
trafitto da un raggio di sole:
ed è subito sera

Boys hiking with their papa

2007-08-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

Is a sight that warms my heart. Even if it wasn't my beloved husband and my sons, looking out at the beauty seen from Sibley.

My boys love to hike and camp. First son constantly asks, "When can we go camping for 100 days?!" I typically answer when baby bibliotecaria is old enough to walk most of the day. I'm not sure when that will be, but we would love to do the Pacific Coast trail as a family. Maybe when she is four years old? Is that asking a lot? But I am constantly surprised at their ability to walk significant distances and love every minute of life outside.

As a kid one of my favorite books was My Side of the Mountain. I loved this book and the possibility it presented to my as a kid. I recently brought this home form the library, and was pleasantly surprised. Not to say that the movie is better then the book, but I remember the ending of the book being kind of tacked on--it fell short of the rest of the book. The movie did away with this ending. I'm sure if I re-read the book now, it would be better then the movie, but the movie wasn't bad. The book is on our read a-loud list.

So, if you have any good multi-day family hikes, please let me know! We're planning ahead for more scenes like the one above (bench is optional).

The Sunroom

2007-08-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

In this urban jungle we do have an oasis of childhood. We call it "the sun room," although it is more nearly an enclosed porch, with huge windows all around. It is mostly dedicated to the children--it is a place where they can experiment and create on their own.

Split peas! I got a bunch of bags of these and they make a lovely tactile 'sand.' Second son especially loves them, but first son will spend a lot of time pouring and sifting... Sure, I find them in weird places all over the house (they like to stick to bare feet), but they are relatively simple to sweep up. And the sweeping is another game with a 3 year-old sized broom.

This is where we made a huge vinegar & baking soda volcano. We've made all kinds of 'machines', and watch the garbage trucks outside and the birds visit our seed feeder. I plan to make a fort for the boys and have a little climbing structure for baby bibliotecaria in the works for when she is one--at Christmastime.

The sun on the wall above was salvaged from a neighboring dumpster on San Pablo when we lived in the Creamery Art Studios (thank you Martian Gallery Man). We though it was too beautiful to be dumped, and so it has hung on the wall in all of our homes since living there. And is any space complete without Christmas Lights?

We love you, little sunny room.

Did the baby fall off the organ?

2007-08-26T08:51:00.000-07:00

Philosophy Bites

2007-08-26T08:47:00.001-07:00

Yummy, yummy!

oh, yeah, uh, I got into graduate school

2007-08-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

I have a new number and everything, too.

It actually feels really good to be in school again (although, reflecting on the past six years, I've kind of always been in school).

heh.

Fuck you, Vegan Pancakes!

2007-08-18T10:40:00.000-07:00

You have betrayed me--with your sweet promises of lightness, and fluffiness, and no milk proteins to hurt baby bibliotecaria's little belly (she has a pretty rare sensitivity to milk protein, not an allergy per se, but the milk protein in my mama's milk causes all kinds of harm to her little system. Consequently, I've cut it out of everything that I eat. No whey or all that other funky stuff in processed food, along with the obvious cheese and ice cream, etc.)

You were neither light nor fluffy, and barely cooked completely. Further, you were a pain in my rear to prepare--cutting the butter substitute with the whole wheat flour... my last can of pureed pumpkin I gave to you.

Get out! Just get out of my kitchen... before I do something drastic!

Stranger than Fiction (2006)

2007-08-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

I saw this film for the first time the other night and was surprisingly impressed. The Dustin Hoffman Character, much like the Metaphysical Detective he plays in I Heart Huckabees, I think is my favorite, but the freaky author (played by Emma Thompson) reminds me of one of my best friends, whom I miss very much. Will Ferrell, is Will Ferrell.

Complete with Italo Calvino quotes, see it if you haven't already...

it is a Stevie day (all feathered at the edges)

2007-08-16T16:27:00.000-07:00

get your portrait with Stevie

Six XL Fuzzi Buns with 6 cotton inserts

2007-08-09T15:58:00.000-07:00

Why I have pictures of diaper covers below

2007-08-05T18:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, I do like cloth diapers, but that is not why I have pictures of them below. I have them there because they are for sale. Yes, i deal diapers on the black market.

Actually, baby bibliotecaria has outgrown them and I am switching tracks with her--because the synthetics tend to harm her very delicate skin. So we're going all natural fibers, cotton, hemp, and wool.

Most of the covers I am donating to my friend who is running a Montessori Nursery and will need cloth diapers for the babes. I think it is so cool that she is going to have all cloth at her daycare, and I would like to support her in the small way that I can.

But, I'd also like to put some of the money already sunk in diapers for the future.

So, that is why I have pictures of diaper covers on the web log.

Berry Plush Diaper cover

2007-07-28T15:14:00.000-07:00

Lavender Fields, Jam tots, size Medium

more flight of the conchords

2007-07-24T11:03:00.000-07:00

Flight of the Conchords

2007-07-23T22:39:00.000-07:00

I love my little family

2007-07-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

Today was baby bibliotecaria's first cable car ride. She slept through it, but her big brothers were very excited for her. I was kind of overwhelmed by the surrounding tourism that I forgot to snap a picture.

Not that I don't like visitors to our city--I love them. I am just easily overwhelmed by crowds.

We began at the cable car museum, which the boys love. It boggles my mind, to see those huge wheels spinning, pulling these little cars up these huge hills...

After our cable car adventure, we went by Ali's Coffee shop, and I ran into my good friend from school in Firenze, Italia--Betsy! She was jogging about.

I haven't seen B. for over two years.

But I just really enjoyed looking at my beautiful family all day, and my handsome husband. That was the best part of the day.

I am still waiting....

2007-07-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

I am now Incomplete - Verified... which means:

Your application has been reviewed by the Data Specialist in Graduate Studies & Research.
-Check your "To Do" list in http://my.sjsu.edu for a complete list of outstanding documents and instructions.

So I've checked it... and my transcripts are somewhere in the mail room, or in the trash or something. Maybe they're in someone else's file?

The annoying thing is that I can check all this stuff--giving the illusion of actually doing something, even if it is really just a frustrated impatient waiting.

I just want to be Complete.

Thank you M.T. for Happy Lion

2007-07-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

He is first son's most favorite companion. He goes on our trips, and his absence is felt at bedtime. We have had mass lion hunts that have kept us up, searching, past bedtime.

I sent it all in

2007-07-17T18:31:00.000-07:00

I had such fun mailing in my transcripts to SJSU yesterday. They were received at 4:27am today (thank you www.usps.com ). Now I wait...

And seek out daycare for 2 kids. Which is really difficult [for me]. I've decided that they have to go to the same place and that money is no object. I find a school I like that will take both kids, and then I discover that there is a 9 month waiting list. Fun.

I think I can wait though because I can perhaps get Mr. Bibliotecaria to watch the little ones on the few days I have to commute to school and do the work before/after the kids sleep. Coffee is my friend. Then there is summer...

And then I'll be ready for internship, or whatever adult endeavors my life brings me. I am terrified.

I think, what if there is a huge earthquake--how will I protect my children... and the list goes on and on... I guess it doesn't help that oldest son has had special drills for when the 'bad people' come to school, where they all have to hide in the cloakroom... life in the era of school shootings is .... I'm having trouble finding a different adjective other than terrifying.

So now I'll fill out the application for my kids' preschool. Which will, incidentally, cost a lot more than my M.L.I.S. program.

Not with a bang

2007-07-17T07:58:00.000-07:00

But with a whimper. T.S. Elliott gave us these lines, and he believed that civilization would end with people shooting each other in the streets. Well, L.A. and Chicago go on, with people shooting each other in the streets.

Forget Iran having nukes, I think that importing poisoned food from China will kill us all. I am all for free trade, qua qua qua, but it is completely insane for us to not grow our own food and depend on another nation for food, no matter how cheap.

This situation of eating things that we know not what they contain, coupled with converting the great central valley of California from the best agricultural land the world has ever know into track homes, makes me think that the end is, truly, neigh.

I doubt the God would write the Divine Comedy

2007-07-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

of Dante. This is too human.

I think that if God were to write a play it would certainly be a musical. There would be lots of tap dancing and beautiful ladies and handsome gentlemen. Synchronized swimming, swings dropping from on high. Everyone would know the words and the dance steps.

Everyone would fall in love and have a dance partner. When the number was over, it would be so good that you will still hum it in your head, and never want it to end.

Baby Bibliotecaria

2007-07-15T22:55:00.001-07:00

Please read

2007-07-15T00:42:00.001-07:00

this web log.

The Sun Is

2007-07-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

Do you watch the sun set? As an undergraduate in San Francisco I would find my way to Ocean Beach almost every day (except the El Nino year of '96-'97) to watch the sun set. I had two spots complete with striking cliffs and trees to perch within, and watch the sun slip to the other side of the earth.

I like to think of it not so much as setting, but going to the other side. Setting speaks only of the sun disappearing from sight--but we know that it is actually only made invisible because of the rotation of the Earth. Strangely, this is they only time of the day when we can gaze directly at the sun, if only for a few seconds. Why would one want to miss that moment?

As an adolescent, I would retreat to the Pacific... I would paddle out on my board and sit on it. Although the surf was sometimes not so great, this was the best time for me to be in the water, because I would sit on my board and watch the sun sink into the ocean, being rocked back and forth, just out past the break.

There was a man who we always found at Ocean Beach at this important time of day. He had two frisbees and would alternate throwing one into the stiff wind coming from Hawaii and beyond over the Pacific. The disc would spin and hover in the air, and then be returned to the man. Sometimes he would catch it, and then throw the other disc into the air, have it spin away and then return to him to be caught at times, at other times dropped into the broken wave.

Now living in the East Bay I sometimes make the effort to catch the sun set. But it isn't quite the same, even from the towing vantage of the hills, or the point of Alameda. I think that it is right for the Pacific--violent and vast--to swallow the sun. Nothing else can then give birth to the source of light and life on the other side of the world.

Now I sound like some kind of hippie.

What is it?

2007-07-13T20:59:00.000-07:00

No purchase necessary.Void where prohibited.

slide

2007-07-13T18:11:00.000-07:00

wheeeeeee!

what does it mean in ordinary time?

2007-07-12T21:12:00.001-07:00

What the heck was I thinking?

I was trying to paint Easter, and then when I look at it on the wall now in ordinary time, it makes more sense.

But it isn't Easter. Not quite.

It is really hard to paint Easter.

I think it is still too... What? Still to something-else-other-than-Easter.

I wanted to see Mary Magdalen and the tomb without the boulder blocking the entrance. And she kind of looking over her shoulder at Us.

But now I think it is a group of beautiful veiled modest women, or one woman, all intertwined within herself/each other.

Image on the right is stamped crayon and watercolor.

This is where I used to live, but then I moved.

2007-07-11T16:56:00.000-07:00

this was a bit of poetry in spam email received today.

2007-07-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

Then she twisted the nozzle off and walked back along the hoses length, looping it over her arm. And, as he also so often did, he tried to block this memory; and found himself a second too late.

Sometimes I feel compelled to check spam for the weird parts included in the message to sneak past the filters. I would love to be hired for such a position, I think that perhaps this way my poetry might be read, accidentally.

Or is it sentences from random books; selected from random books and put together?

What do you think?

La mort veut être belle

2007-07-07T17:40:00.000-07:00

copywrite 2006 La Bibliotecaria Laura; not to be used without permission.

Gli Colori

2007-07-06T18:37:00.001-07:00

On road trips while Mr. Bibliotecaria drives I like to paint. Here are my beautiful little colors, crying out to be used up in marriage to paper and light.

Paintings to follow... but here is a link to my friend's website, Padre Bruno, from whom I learned to paint...

A Garden

2007-07-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

I have a terrible sin to confess--I am constantly envious of those around me with private gardens. I physically ache for a garden, to grow vegetables, flowers, succulents.

I want to play in the dirt with my children, I want to make a special home for birds and insects.

I believe that children and those who care for them should spend at least half of the day outside; but this is difficult for a mama of 2 busy boys and a baby girl. Yes, we constantly visit public parks, the seashore, botanical gardens. And it is good in a way that we can't just plop down in our own little patch--it keeps us out and visiting these beautiful jewels of out cities. California has so many wonderful parks of all sizes, so there is really no excuse to remain in doors.

I guess it doesn't help that The Secret Garden, written by Frances Hodgson Burnett, is one of my favorite books. I've read it so many times as a child and as an adult that I think perhaps it informs and contributes to this ache in me, because I think that a garden is more than just a place to barbeque, but represents a place to discover encounter the Divine and friendship and healing. Obviously there is the Garden of Our Origin, Eden, and then there is Carmel.

I get this same heavy feeling in my chest, from my very favorite part of this Burnett's novel is the first paragraph of Chapter 21. I'll finish with it, this pit of salve for my heart:

One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows it sometimes when one gets up at the tender solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands alone and throws one's head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale sky slowly changing and flushing and marvelous unknown things happening until the East almost makes one cry out and one's heart stands still at the strange unchanging majesty of the rising of the sun--which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark blue at night with millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound of far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in some one's eyes.

Ducks in a Row

2007-07-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

I am ready to apply to graduate school. I need to brush up my essay a bit, and e-mail my former boss to make sure it is okay to list him as a reference. But, thanks to Bob at City College SF, I have all my transcripts--except for my record from U. C. Berkeley Extension.

image from here.

This grade isn't posted yet, as I still have to post a story and possibly an essay, but it will surely boost my g.p.a (which should be sufficient, but now that it is time to act I am wondering if a Higher G.P.A. would be better?)

I submitted my FAFSA awhile ago, hoping that if I get my application in on the earliest possible day, I will possible have time to apply for scholarships and grants. I haven't crunched all the numbers, but I hope I can afford school.

I guess it will be good timing as Mr. Bibliotecaria will be finishing school. If he applies to grad school and we have to move north, I can transfer (right?) to the other good library school in Seattle.

I just hope I don't lose my mind. Baby Bibliotecaria will be almost old enough to be cared for by someone else. Ideally Mr. Bibliotecaria will be working from home or have a flexible enough schedule to care for her. Second Son Bibliotecaria will be in school, and of course First Son Bibliotecaria will have school.

I am hoping to be able to handle the maximum amount of units per term.

2007-07-04T14:30:00.001-07:00

You can see French the Cat is still in his bed, and Fern Fern sits next to the basket on French's table in his kitchen. There is also a little stack of bowls on the table, and a small red pitcher on the floor beside the sink.

Shake 'n' Pour

2007-07-03T00:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this post could get kind of hairy. It involves possibly shocking details about the General Mills is Betty Crocker. Are they one person; is this like a trans-gender thing? Don't ask, don't tell.

I was at the large chain store which I affectionately call WhiteWay looking for bisquick-- just regular old Bisquick. I was horrified to see this thing.

It is called the Bisquick Shake 'n' Pour. Note, there was no regular ol' box of bisquick on the shelf next to it--just the betty's pancake mix, which to the untrained eye would appear as a lesser quality product than the tried and true Bisquick. They're actually the same exact thing.

So do they really want to you buy this petroleum product, non-recyclable thing called Shake 'n' Pour, instead of a box of Bisquick? I already have a Shake 'n' Pour: it's called a pyrex measuring cup. Bisquick has reached an entirely new level of slackerdome.

Donnie Darko

2007-07-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

Yes it took me awhile to finally see this movie, but I was presently surprised. The theological under/over tones, coupled with dark '80s music and paranoid schizophrenia, Graham Greene --what a winning film!

Several of the plot twist kept me wondering about the movie for awhile, and the lack of scientific reality of the whole time travel concept didn't bother me at all. It isn't really a sci-fi movie at all. It is more of a thought experiment, where one accepts something totally unreal as real for the sake of learning/exploring a greater idea--the nature of sacrifice and well, there is some cool joy division.

Not for children, I still have a hard time looking at rabbits, even after a few days. Rent it today!

2007-06-26T21:29:00.000-07:00

I plan to go to school to obtain an mlis from sjsu and become a librarian. this is the occupation of the year 2007.

When telling oldest son this, he asks if I will then wear skirts.

Yeah, right. I totally dig this whole wifewomanmother thing and wearing skirts and modesty, but I need to sprint after two very fast boys--frequently.

Just how are you going to make the escape from the black-hatted via horseback in a skirt? I'm talking survival here.

I try, but my life seems to involve too much danger for skirts and purses. I'm talking survival--so you should always be able to run fast and far, survive all kind of extreme heat and cold, and oh, yeah--

have your hands free to brandish a knife.

ExistEnz

2007-06-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

Why do I enjoy movies with pretentious philosophical terms tossed about such as ExistenZ and I Heart Huckabees... and why is Jude Law in them?